Note:
In the past I had published this article in the Occult Herald (link) under a different name, but I got the permission to keep it for my blog and re-publish it (with some edits).It was written at a time way before I managed to find a connection to the Venumbris Societies.
Alternative title would be “The thoughts of my Online Magical Journey and Research”.
After spending hours and hours again browsing (in search for legitimate Venumbris content), looking for e-books, old scans, and even looking up on archived forums from as early as 2004, I stopped and had some thoughts... the same thoughts that kept me offline all this time (I was offline for a long time prior to writing this).
Magic is NOT a DIY project
When I find a forum (one that is new to me) the first thing I do is going the oldest post and then work my way backwards to the present posts while taking notes on what was the last date or page I reached through my research.
The first thing I see every single time is posts from people new to the occult asking "Where do I find spells to practice". Then, immediately after the question I see replies that say "Just make your own". I also see posts like "where to find magic"etc. and again the replies are "Study and find it yourself".
This is frustrating, annoying, and personally I find it completely absurd. It feels as if these people are either gatekeeping or simply have no idea where to find these either (therefore they pretend they are gatekeeping). Imagine if the same happened with other subjects, for example, someone posting on a tech forum "Hey I am new here, where do I find a programming software to start writing code with" ... and then having people replying "Make one yourself"... Do you see now how naive it looks?
Which leads to the next thought.
Most people have NO idea what Magic is.
When I see replies like that I just close the post and I move to the next one. People have this misconception that magic is (only) some inner work for one to become a better being and be enlightened and work with their higher self etc.. NOPE, this is philosophy, this is meditation, this is self development. Yes, you can use magic as an aid for this but this is no magic on its own.
I just came to believe in the recent years that people just want to believe that they are doing magic in order to feel that they are achieving a goal or to have something to keep them up and keep them going (just like most people use religion). And their replies on the subject are always so random and negative simply because they have never experienced actual magic and they have never performed real magical techniques, thus, when someone asks for advice, they cannot give an actual helpful answer, because they simply don't know.
Of course this does not mean that most people who are into Witchcraft, the Occult, and Magic overall fall into this category, far from it, it simply points out that those who are so negative about it, maybe they are trying to hide their ignorance.
Let's see this again with the example of another subject. Imagine going to a Mathematics forum in which everyone claims to be a mathematician and you post the question "Where can I find some information on how to solve this equation?"... then the replies you get are "Invent your own equation", "Reach deep in yourself and the answer will come", "If you were meant to solve equations you would have the gift already"... something is fishy right?
This leads to the next thought.
Actual knowledge is not available to the general public.
Just think about it for a moment. When you meet other people online, most of the time it is in forums. The forums now are full of people who seek the knowledge, with people who are looking to find something. Chances are that the ones who already found what they were looking for or the ones who had this knowledge available already, they are not online waiting around for when someone will ask them a question so they can reply and give them their knowledge away for free.
Why? Because if you already have the knowledge, it is not beneficial to you to just waste your time in places where people are still looking for it (unless your aim is to educate)... Because time is too valuable to do things that are of no benefit to you... Because if you are already an actual practitioner, chances are that you are spending your time living your daily life while using magic to make the day to day tasks easier, i.e. you are out there practising (one of the reasons I am rarely online myself now that I think of it).
So looking in places like that is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Then you are thinking "let's buy books to learn things and try to find answers". Which leads to the next thought.
Books are a gamble!
So, I am looking for the real deal. I am looking up for reputable authors, books with good reviews, browsing bookshops etc. While I am looking for books I am thinking that this is probably a waste of my time and that the books are a huge gamble. Why? Well, let's see why...
First of all when you are looking for either a reputable author or books with good reviews, it means that it is something very available to the public. This means that it probably has nothing properly useful in it. If anyone could put their hands in a piece of real magical knowledge, then everyone in the Umanis society would be a practitioner, there would be no grave problems in the world and none would doubt the existence of magic and the occult. Therefore, the overly exposed works are simply commercial money makers. (They might be a treasure vault of theoretical knowledge, which is accurate and true, but they lack in practical knowledge and techniques).
Secondly, an individual with such a knowledge, a kind of knowledge that is so hidden (occult), would probably keep what they already know for themselves as it is a great asset to minimise competition on multiple occasions and only give the "low end" stuff to the public. How I know this? Well, I have been contacted multiple times since I made my personal blog (now deleted) by publishing houses that asked me to go to an interview and discuss the possible publication of a book with actual occult practices in it... a financial contract in exchange of the knowledge I already have. Well, I politely declined the offer (in case either of the publishers is reading this now, sorry but at least now you know why I declined) because I am not looking to just give away what I have for money, I am looking to find more, learn more, achieve more. Therefore, any actual practitioner would keep the "goodies" for themselves and only share unimportant things with the public, or give “some” legitimate (minor) techniques in order to get the readers hooked with small results to get their next book(s).
On that, I should note that I am finally ready to open up and share what I know (at least the theory to start with), especially the things about the Venumbris Societies, and this is why I started submitting my works to this blog (Occult Herald). When I get my works published I want it to be with a Publishing House that values knowledge and community and use my works well, not with a greedy money-making high-street Publisher that only cares about sales.
Last but not least, no government would want this kind of information to leak out. Mostly because when they have a chance to put their hands on this sort of knowledge they keep it for themselves, and then because... just imagine what would happen if anyone was allowed to go to a bookshop, buy a book, and start practising the occult techniques...
[My grandmother used to work in a government funded institute (she was a subject for “psychic” research). Their aim was to advance occult practices and apply their research in whatever they were doing at this time. The whole institute closed down once the government tried to step in fully and take all the research in order to militarise it. I might reveal the name of the institute in the near future as I would like to write more about it.
The only books that I have seen in my life to only contain actual practical information where "books" in the family house I grew up. I say "books" because they were essentially journal-notebook covers stacked with random papers and notes.
Don't get me wrong though, the books that are available to the public, might not contain a lot of actual practical information (with the exception of some of them that have some fragments of it)... BUT they are a great "Food for Thought". "Occult" books that I have bought through the years gave me a lot of inspiration to develop some of the techniques I knew even more and motivated me to research for new stuff, and the Science books I've read, helped me understand concepts and techniques that I meet during my practice. Therefore, they might not be what I am looking for but they are a very good investment to develop oneself even more.
Still, their theoretical information is very valuable, and there are definitely great books on the market, with the ones that contain practical information being the hardest to find.
I don't know where I am going with this entry, since I write this blog to be my journal for my ongoing research, I think I will stop here for now.
No matter how hopeless the situation seems to be with “Available Knowledge” in the present era, I simply cannot stop, I will keep going on because as Leonardo da Vinci said (if I am correct) ...
"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return".
(If only I knew when I was writing this that I would find my grandmother's grimoire and a connection to the Venumbris once more!)
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